Does this look like an umbrella suitable for a grown man? I ask you readers, in all honesty, what kind of a woman would attempt to humiliate her husband with such cruelty?
This morning I had to take Baby DRAGONE to daycare on the streetcar. In the rain. You see, I happen to be at a time where I am in between cars. Some people are “in between jobs”, I am “in between cars”. My trusty reliable Corolla got smashed up real good, as was noted a couple of blogs ago. Thankfully, yours truly DRAGONE escaped without a scratch with only one scratch courtesy of a super powerful air bag and my ninja blocking skills. Looks like all those years riding bumper cars paid off!
So today I ventured into the outside world beyond the confines of my house or car. Ahhhhhhhhh Nature! But what made this particularly challenging was that I was transporting Baby DRAGONE, in the rain, with an essential stop at Tim Horton’s, trying to figure out if the streetcar accepts Presto cards, and hoping preying that we can make this trip while “in between potties”.
I had my nondescript black umbrella tested and ready to go, but Mrs. DRAGONE insisted that I take the green umbrella. “He really likes it” apparently. Well little did I know that I would be coming back home, by myself, shielding my sensitive skin with a green froggy umbrella. All by myself, with no baby in sight. Just a grown man. And a green froggy umbrella with giant bulging eyes.
A woman laughed at me while we were waiting for the streetcar. “Awesome umbrella”, she giggled. I ask you readers, do I look like a man fit to be mocked like a cartoon character?
Upon arriving back home I found my front door wide open. This was a tricky little adventure, with lots of little things to plan. My ADD does not do well in these situations. How was I also supposed to remember to close the door on the way out?
Well, as my little one would say – WE DID IT!
DRAGONE out.
p.s. don’t you find that cute writing style of crossing out words to show fake your thought process in a humorous way annoying? I do. I thought I would experiment with it but in my opinion, experiment failed.
The animal in question, seen here on your right, is clearly a horse. A spotted horse, but clearly a horse. I present to you, on your left, an actual giraffe so that you can have a proper comparison .
So picture this. It’s the last day of June. School’s out! DRAGONE is looking at 2 solid months of blogging, working out, taking naps during the day, and eating pizza and chips whenever the fuck he wants. (No staying up late and sleeping in though, there’s still baby DRAGONE who’s schedule has not changed). Ah, but isn’t summer a wonderful time.
Pictured here is the scratch I got from the airbag. I blocked it well, my sensei would have been proud.
It looks like you’re trying to make a statement. So I want my next car to be bright blue. (Mrs. DRAGONE will probably vote grey, and she will probably win).
As you all may have guessed by now, I have always fancied myself a rather accomplished amateur bodybuilder. I was really into it for a while. And let me tell you, the strict regimen is grueling to say the least. Every day taking copious amounts of vitamins such as stanozolol, anadrol, testosterone, and so on. Keeping track of doses. Oh my gosh I’m getting anxious just thinking about those days now. And then, after doing this for the better part of a year, another bodybuilder told me that I needed to supplement my vitamins with weight training. Well that was just too much for me, so I quit. Cold turkey.
Rejection. What an ugly word. We’ve all been there. We’ve all had to go through the pain. The trauma. The tears.
That’s just my way of enforcing karma, since it’s not fair that she can show up to class whenever she feels like it, write a test a few days late, while making up some lame excuse. She even emailed me a picture of her thermometer showing a low grade fever (C’mon Jennifer, couldn’t you find a place to put that thing that would give it a higher reading?).
Oh, and here’s a pair of shoes that one of my students bought recently. They’re more expensive than my car. Gotta love working at a private school🙂
