Baseball / The Most Interesting Man in the World

Good evening ladies and gentlemen.

Baseball is not a sport.  As you all know, I am a BIG sports fanatic and sportsman.  I love all sports.  NBA Basketball, NFL Football, NCAA Basketball, High School Football, NAACP Basketball, and so on.  But baseball, ladies and gentlemen, is not a sport.  Any activity which fat people can excel at is not a sport.  Unless it happens to be a sport where fatness is an advantage, such as sumo wrestling or ice fishing.  Furthermore, it turns out that Canadians are good at baseball.  Witness the Toronto Blue Jays.  Look people, I’m not saying that Canadians are not good athletes, but this is a matter of mathematics.  Canada is a small country.  All of its athletic resources are funneled into hockey (which I consider only a half-sport since the Black population has not yet discovered it).  Canada has no more athletes left over to compete in any other sport.  So the fact that Canadians are good at baseball is proof that baseball, in fact, is not a sport.

Canadian baseball

Figure 1:  Canadians playing baseball.

 

The “Most Interesting Man in the World”.  Really?  Have you seen these ads?  I see nothing at all interesting about an old guy surrounded by beautiful women and drinking a beer.  Anyone with a spare few thousand dollars can do the same.  And besides, the guy is a phony!  He is just pretending to be James Bond, the International Man of Mystery.  See the resemblance?  If not, why don’t we play a little game.  I’ll quote from either Interesting Man (IM) or Bond, and you tell me which is the more “interesting” quote:

  1. “When it is raining, it is because he is thinking of something sad” (IM)  vs.  “Blame it on the rain” (Bond).
  2. “His blood smells like cologne” (IM)  vs.   “Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed” (Bond)
  3. “He once had an awkward moment just to see how it feels” (IM)   vs.  “I went through an awkward adolescence and had braces” (Bond, I think)
  4. “He shakes it like a Polaroid picture” (IM ?) vs.  “Shaken, not stirred” (for sure this one’s Bond)

Well I’ll give Mr. “Interesting” number 4, but Bond is clearly the overall winner in this heavyweight mismatch.

sean connery

Figure 2:  The real “Most Interesting Man in the World”.

 

Hello Mr. DRAGONE.  I have enjoyed reading your blog and was going to “like” your Facebook page, but then I noticed that you have zero “likes” so I decided not to.  Why do you have zero “likes”?  Brad from Baltimore.

Hello Mr. Baltimore.  I very much encourage you to “like” my page.  Do you think that the first Sherpa who climbed Mt. Everest looked around and thought to himself “why has no one else climbed this mountain before?  Is this mountain not worthy enough to climb?”  Of course not!  In fact, the most difficult of life’s accomplishments are the ones which have not been done before.  Be the first, Brad.  You can do it!

 

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