Mixed Martial Arts: Real Or Fake?

I’m sure all MMA fighters keep getting asked the same question over and over again.  Is mixed martial arts real or fake?  Let’s examine both sides of this contentious issue.  As a bench mark we shall compare with the precursor to mixed martial arts, the ancient art of 1980s professional wrestling.

Now firstly, the predominant organization for MMA is the UFC, and as we all know the UFC is a progressive politically correct 21st Century organization.  Its champions encompass both sexes as well as both genders.  Witness the staggering popularity of ex-champion Rowdy Ronda Rousey.  Now one might wonder if her fight against the Preacher’s Daughter Holly Holmes was in fact fixed, given the hype that now exists for the grudge rematch.  But whatever, I will concede that it is a possibility that the fight was not predetermined.  At any rate, the fact that the UFC showcases both sexes as well as both genders (not to mention both races) is one point for the UFC being all real.

ufc ring girls

Figure 1: The women of the UFC.

But take a look at the height of the benchmark set by 1980s professional wrestling!  Not only did it also showcase both sexes and both genders (a certain Elizabethan manager even comes to mind),

miss E

Figure 2: Pro wrestling’s first female manager, Miss Elizabeth

but professional wrestling went one step further and took great pains to highlight and promote the lesser known ambiguous sexes and genders,

 

jesse the body

Figure 3:  Jesse “The Body” Ventura, showcasing professional wrestling’s commitment to the ambiguous sexes and genders.  He is also the ex-Governor of Minnesota.  Minnesota is very cold.

Also, professional wrestling does not discriminate against body size the way that UFC does, with its restrictive weight categories.

andre and midgets

Figure 4:  Andre the Giant mobbed and adored by midgets.  Proof that professional wrestling does not abide by the highly restrictive weight categories imposed by the UFC.

Not only that, but professional wrestling did its bit to represent the lesser known races, such as Native Americans.

Chief Tatanka

Figure 5:  Chief Tatanka

As we all know, 1980s professional wrestling was as real as real could get.  Its astounding diversity is a testament to this.  The UFC still has some ways to go to meet this level of global awareness, so in my opinion, the verdict is still out.  Is the UFC (and all of MMA) real or fake?  Only time will tell.

 

Meanwhile, I have received a ton of fan mail on related topics.  So below I answer some of these piercing letters, but with a bit of editing to eliminate some of the formality of the lengthy salutations.  I wish to save some valuable time and space (and any other relevant dimensions) so as a result I have printed only the brief, to the point, necessary words required to give my fan mail questions the conciseness and clarity that they so desperately crave.

 

All martial arts — real or fake?

I am a firm believer that real men (and women) only fight bare-breasted, not pajama-clad.  Obviously, that answers that question.

 

The Moon landing — real or fake?

The Moon is one of those iconic figures in Nature that it behooves me to think that anyone could possibly take advantage of its large and usually peaceful presence.  Therefore, it must be real.

 

The assassination of Robert Kennedy — real or fake?

I think that we should ask the main suspect for this case, Marilyn Monroe.  Unfortunately, she is also dead, and has buried her Victoria secrets with her.

 

The assassination of Justin Bieber — real or fake?

I think that we should ask the main suspect for this case, Billy Ray Cyrus.  Unfortunately, he is busy dolling out time-outs to his daughter Hannah Montana, and has simply forgotten where he was last year.

 

The road less taken, or the road less traveled?

As you all know, I am a keen adventurer and enthusiast of all things interesting.  Therefore, I shall choose the road less traveled.  During the many times that I have globe-trotted the Earth, in all of its directions, I have done so espousing my philosophy of living in the moment rather than planning out my destination.  I am less concerned with “taking” a road to nowhere than I am with “traveling” a road and smelling the rose bushes.  There is a certain “joie de livre” (translation: joy of books) that comes with traveling a road “less traveled”.  Not to put it too soulfully, but it is my “raison d’etat” (translation: reason for overthrowing a government).

 

DRAGONE out.

 

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