North Korea’s “Hydrogen Bomb” Was One Big Fart

That’s right my loyal readers, you heard it here first.

The world today measured a 5.1 magnitude something from North Korea, and that something was not an earthquake.  North Korea’s bobblehead leader Kim Jong Un has claimed that it was a successful test of their new hydrogen bomb.  The bomb specialists from the rest of the world, despite being very skeptical of Un’s claim, have been unable to determine the source of this great big rattle.

Now I have always believed that the way of the future is not one of specialization, but one of diversification.  As such, I am a great proponent of interdisciplinary studies such as biochemical engineering, or physical graffiti, or naval psychology.  In this case, I have used my chemical cinematic knowledge to solve the great “Hydrogen Bomb” riddle.

In the documentary film “The Interview”, Kim Jong Un claims that he has no ass hole to speak out of, let alone to flatulate out of.  And so, over time, the pressure mounted.  Until one day, that day being January 6, 2016, he exploded in one big enormous “hydrogen bomb”, measuring 5.1 on the Richter scale.  I think Mr. Richter would have been proud.

kim jong un dennis rodman

Figure 1:  Kim Jong Un looking relaxed as ever with friend Dennis Rodman.

It has been rumored that Kim Jong Un will be succeeded by his future son, Kim Jong Deux.  Father-son rulers have not been unheard of.  Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his father Pierre are an example.  Is it a coincidence that both North Korea and Canada are Communist countries?  I think not!

canadian white house

Figure 2: The Canadian White House.  I believe those are Trudeaus in the background.

Now the U.S. has its own example with the George Bushes, but in my opinion that does not count seeing as Junior was adopted.

With the sudden passing of Kim Jong Un that leaves only two remaining men alive (along with the billions of women) who have claimed to have never released the dreaded gas.  The two men in question:  His Holiness the Dalai Lama, and comedian Deepak Chopra.

dalai lama

Figure 3:  His Holiness the Dalai Lama meditates.

 

russell peters

Figure 4:  Comedian Deepak Chopra works the Las Vegas crowd.

It is now time for some scintillating fan mail.  I have instructed my vigilant staff to sort through the dumpsters of fan mail that I throw out daily and pick out the most relevant to today’s topic.  Once again, so as not to waste valuable Internet memory on the unnecessary salutations, I have edited them out.

Do you believe in God?

So, I’m not convinced of the relevance of this question.  Well maybe since I brought up the Dalai Lama, and since Communists don’t believe, ok I now see the relevance.  Well here is the thing.  I was not expecting this question.  To be truthful to my dear readers, as you deserve nothing but, I really was not expecting this question.  I have not given this question proper thought.  What a penetrating question.  It has never occurred to me.  Excellent question!  I really don’t know what to say.  I will research this topic and get back to you, I promise.

That is all the time we have for fan mail today.

DRAGONE out.

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2 Responses to North Korea’s “Hydrogen Bomb” Was One Big Fart

  1. A. van Nerel says:

    This is brilliant. Love your mind (and usually I’m not really into fart jokes, so that’s saying something;))

    Like

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