Toronto in January


It’s the middle of January and winter has finally arrived in Toronto.  It’s cold outside.  I wake up in the morning and it’s still dark.  I eat dinner and it’s dark again.  DRAGONE is feeling the winter blues.  DRAGONE is lonely 😦

I have an idea!   If I can get more people to visit Toronto then maybe I won’t feel so alone.  So I’ve compiled a list of great reasons to come to Toronto in January.


Great Reasons to Come to Toronto in January

  1. We used to have a really funny mayor, but he was a real dick and a terrible mayor. Now we have an awesome mayor, but he’s boring.  Kind of a give and take there.
  2. Toronto is warmer than Alaska (although Alaska has a funny mayor who supports a funny Presidential candidate). Toronto is also warmer than Yellowknife, Whitehorse, and Nunavut.
  3. When it snows it’s really pretty. But only if it’s those really big snowflakes, and it’s not windy, and it’s not followed by rain.
  4. The rest of Canada thinks that Torontonians see themselves as being the center of the universe. If you’re coming from the U.S. then that might make you feel at home.
  5. Toronto has a lot of beautiful people. Not like the rest of Canada which is full of really ugly people.
  6. Toronto has a really hot Prime Minister, Justin Trudeau. Well I guess technically he’s the Prime Minister of all of Canada.   But let’s be realistic, he’s going to spend most of his time in Toronto so you’ll probably run into him at the local Tim Horton’s.
  7. Tim Horton’s is really good here. It’s not like the fake Tim Horton’s in New York.
  8. If you’re expecting to hear people say “aboot” instead of “about”, well then you’ll be out of luck because I’ve lived here all my life and I’ve never heard anyone say “aboot”. But if you want to believe that Canadians talk like that, then that’s your prerogative, eh?
  9. Toronto is fully bilingual (French and English). You can tell when you buy cereal at the grocery store because everything is written in both languages.  The managers of the grocery stores really try to promote the bilingualism by always keeping the French side of the cereal boxes facing the aisle.  It’s probably the same with other products that the grocery store sells – I’ll have to research the other aisles for you.
  10. Toronto has lots of great food from all over the world, except for Mexican food. That’s because all the good Mexicans stayed in the U.S.
  11. Toronto has lots of gay people, if you’re into that.
  12. Toronto has lots of Syrian refugees, if you’re into that.



DRAGONE critiques news, entertainment, sports, fashion, and love. He also has ADD, but that is irrelevant.
This entry was posted in Humor and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Toronto in January

  1. cracTpot says:

    A very well researched blog post, except for #5…you’re way off there. Sincerely a non ugly Canadian who doesn’t live in Toronto

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Garfield Hug says:

    Enjoyed this read. Thanks for the share! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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