My Coffee Chronicles

I have a morning ritual that is very, very, very, very important to me.  COFFEE.  Yes I know, I am not alone with this important ritual.  And it is so cliché to say I NEED my coffee.  But people, I truly NEED my coffee.  I don’t want to take more amphetamines, they make me shake at night.

Now my ritual within a ritual that I claim I need is actually a small n need.  But I do need it.  My ritual is to order a double-double from my favorite coffee establishment that is known as Tim Horton’s.  Around these parts we call it Tim’s, or Timmy’s.  Why do I need exactly this for my morning coffee? It’s interesting because the coffee isn’t the most amazing coffee that I’ve ever tasted.  But this is how we in Canada show our national pride.  We don’t put flags up on our front lawns (well some do, but not many).  Instead we walk around in our Toronto Maple Leafs toques (even though the Leafs suck hockey puck, and have sucked hockey puck for the last 50 years) and “Cheers” each other with our Tim Horton’s coffee cups.  Ok, so not everyone walks around in their Toronto Maple Leafs toque, but everyone drinks from Timmy’s.  I do mean everyone.  Though it may also have something to do with the “Drive Thru” option.

Every morning on my way to work, a pit stop at Timmy’s is essential.  It’s way more important than being punctual at work and way worth the risk of getting fired.  Once there was the time that I was driving on the 401 (that’s what we call the highway here in Canada) on Christmas Day, dangerously low on gas, and simultaneously looking for the rare Timmy’s and gas station combo that was open on the 25th of December.   But that’s not what this blog is about.

On weekends, when there is no good reason to get out of my pajamas, let alone out of the house, I used to make my own coffee (with the fine grind that I bought from Timmy’s).  And then, a miracle occurred.  Just one tiny block from my house a new Tim Horton’s popped up.  And Holy Timbits, Batman, I had no idea that a construction crew could raise a building out of the ground so damn fast!

Well, the temptation became too great. One single little block walked in my PJ’s, that’s acceptable right?  And so, just like that, my weekend mornings changed.  The coffee maker now sits in a pile of dust, but more importantly the fridge is void of cream, so there is no longer even the remotest possibility that I will make my coffee at home.  A 30 second walk outside and I am greeted by a friendly face who is still surprised that I don’t want to “make it a combo”.  No ma’am, just my double-double please.

But now it’s winter and it’s cold outside.  I don’t want to do the walk, even for 30 seconds, in my thin little PJ’s.  So I get in my car, but now going through a Drive Thru becomes irresistibly tempting.  My new Timmy’s is a walk-in only.  A “Tim’s Cafe”.  And so I drive to my old Timmy’s.  The same Timmy’s that has been there for as long as I remember.  The same Timmy’s that has been there while I spent countless weekends making my coffee at home.

Whereas once it seemed logical to make my morning coffee at home, it now seems logical to drive for my coffee.  How the hell did that happen?

p.s. Thank you to Mrs. DRAGONE for pointing out my ridiculous ways.  And for timing me when I said that I would only be 15 minutes writing this blog.  Apparently it took me 30 minutes.


DRAGONE critiques news, entertainment, sports, fashion, and love. He also has ADD, but that is irrelevant.
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4 Responses to My Coffee Chronicles

  1. I understand the social advantages of interacting with live people but have you ever sat down and calculated how much money you spend per year just to have someone else pour hot water over beans for you? Like stepping on a scale in March, the number is always unsettling.


  2. Writing does take longer than we say it would take. Ha! I said I’ll be here for just five minutes. More like five hours and I’m still crying for writing only five words.


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