Metaphorically Speaking

life is like a bagel

DRAGONE has been humbled.  I, the self-professed expert at everything, have realized that I know shit about metaphors.  You see, I was mocking someone today (surprise, surprise!)  What was surprising was that I was mocking them in person, right in front of them, and with their knowledge.  Not behind their backs or in the virtual reality known as WordPress like I normally do.  But alive and in person.

This person, who shall remain unnamed, was explaining to me what a metaphor was by using some supposedly famous “life is like a bagel” bullshit philosophy that I won’t even bother finishing for you.  I fail to see any deep meaning in comparing one’s life to a bagel, so I thought that maybe it was meant to be funny, even though I also fail to see any humor in it.  But according to my “friend” it was not meant to be funny.  Metaphoring life to be like a bagel apparently allows one to understand life, including bagels, to a deeper level.  I still say its bullshit.

I was going to write a whole article on it (hey, I guess I am … ha ha) but then when I looked up metaphors on the Internet I realized that there are all sorts of different kinds of metaphors.  I didn’t know there were different kinds of metaphors, just like there are different kinds of bagels.  (my personal favorite is the “everything bagel” – it matches my personality, my life in fact).  And then I came to a sad realization.  I don’t know my metaphors.

So there you have it.  DRAGONE is not an expert linguist, an expert writer, or even an English major.  I’m just a user.  I use words like my uncle Leo eats bagels.  Nah, see that didn’t work.  I told you the “life is like a bagel” metaphor is bullshit.

So apparently my worldly knowledge, my entire life if you will, has a big hole in it.  Damn, it didn’t work again.

Look, I never said that I was the Einstein of writing, whoever that may be.  I just do what I do, write whatever flows through me, and eat too much.  Right now I’m eating yogurt with granola.  Life is like a bowl of yogurt and granola ….

Sorry to have wasted your time.



DRAGONE critiques news, entertainment, sports, fashion, and love. He also has ADD, but that is irrelevant.
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