Rock stars have all the fun. Rock stars get all the girls. Rock stars get paid to play rock, take drugs, and get laid.
If only I could be a rock star. But to be honest, I wouldn’t be able to last a week living that lifestyle. If I drink two beers I’m drunk and hungover the next day. I like sleep. And to top it off, I can’t play any musical instruments nor can I sing. So what’s a DRAGONE to do?
Buy a djembe, that’s what!
You don’t have to be musical to play a djembe. For those that don’t know, a djembe is a hand drum. Of course, the guitar is the ideal instrument if you really want to be a rock star. But learning to play the guitar takes those 10,000 hours of practice that you need to become an expert at anything. Are you kidding me? 10,000 hours? That’s a 40 hour per week job for 5 years. Who has that kind of time?
So then you might look at playing the drums. Bam bam bam !!! Anyone can play the drums, right? Then you research the price of a drum set. Thousands of dollars! C’mon, everyone knows that old pots and pans are free and do pretty much the same thing. But those old pots and pans, they’re just not going to cut it on stage. They don’t have that look, you know what I mean?
And then you come across a djembe. One drum, not a set of fancy drums. Just one drum. With no sticks. Just one drum, to be played by your hands, those same hands that you for sure have 10,000 hours of practice using … using … using in whatever way you have used your hands for 10,000 hours. Let’s face it, any young lad who has graduated from the teenage years is an expert at playing the djembe.
Ironically, I have found that middle aged white women are the largest sector of the population that plays the djembe. At least over here on this continent. Over in Africa it’s a different story. It’s also a different instrument the way those guys know how to play it. Now maybe women want to be rock stars too, but I’m going to guess for different reasons than men. They probably want to genuinely play music. Fair enough.
So there you are. A rock-star-wanna-be who has just purchased a used djembe for 100 bucks off of Kijiji or Craig’s List. Now what do you do with it? Well, you can join a drum circle. Ok, a drum circle isn’t exactly rock n roll. Those old hippies banging on their drums all day aren’t hanging out with Mick Jagger over at the Royal Legion Hall that they rented out to practice playing their djembes. But it’s a start.
Find a bar that has an open mike night. Wait for some confusion towards the end of the evening when a bunch of musicians want to jam together spontaneously. Then get on stage with your brand new djembe. Even if you don’t play a single note, or beat I guess, you can still fake it. But now you’re up on stage with a rock band, and guess what that makes you? A rock star, that’s what.
Now go ‘em tiger.