Forgive me Tim Horton, for I have sinned.
What did you do, my son?
I was taking a walk with my family at our local zoo. We were admiring the yaks. It is then when I first noticed that strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that percolated up into my chest. My heart was aflutter, and not in a good way.
Was it the yaks? Do you think it unjust to keep yaks caged up for the purpose of our entertainment and admiration?
No Dr. Tim,
It wasn’t the yaks.
Nor the emus or reindeer,
Or the quackity quacks.
Well what was it then, my son? What sent your heart aflutter, and not in a good way? Were you embarrassed to be out in public in your Pacman pajamas?
Hey! Dr. Tim! I’m never embarrassed to be out in public in my Pacman pajamas. In fact, I take pride in my Pacman pajamas. Geeeeeeeeeez!
No, the reason I am here is that I have done something. Something awful. Something, that in the 30 years of your RRROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN contest, I have never done.
Oh my gosh, you won a car!
Um … no. If I won a car I’d be driving up and down Yonge Street with my LED light enhanced Honda Civic. And I wouldn’t feel guilty about it. So no, I did not win a car.
Well what is it my son?
The truth of the matter is, I might have won a car. But I will never know. Because for the first time in 30 years, I forgot to roll up the rim and I threw away my coffee cup. I threw it away in the public recycling bin, and I couldn’t get it back.
So now I’ll be checking the Tim Horton’s website daily. I’ll be checking to see who won what. Because if a garbage man or woman from Toronto won something, I’ll just have to flush myself down the toilet.
That’s rather drastic, my son.
Yeah, well, that’s what it’s come to.
I have a better idea. Have you heard about karma?
I don’t buy into that superstitious voodoo mumbo jumbo doc.
All you have to do, my son, is buy one coffee that you would otherwise not have bought. Think of it as a replacement for the one that you threw away.
I’m not sure that’s what karma is doc, but hey it’s worth a shot. I’ll get back my RRROLL UP THE RIM TO WIN and you’ll get another $1.75.
I wasn’t thinking of myself, but yes.
Ok, here it goes …………
Damnit Dr. Tim! You foiled me again!