Monthly Archives: February 2016

A Tribute to the Real Zoolanders

I woke up this morning very excited.  It is the dawn of the sequel to one of the greatest movies ever made, Zoolander.  To be honest, I begged Hollywood to make a sequel to Stepbrothers instead, but Zoolander will definitely … Continue reading

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My UBER Ideas

Isn’t “über” the best word ever?  As in, “that was one über gnarly wave, dude”.  Or, “Hey Grandma, those tea biscuits were über delicious. They’re what I’ve been dreaming about all week.” Almost as amazing as the word über is … Continue reading

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My Coffee Chronicles – Part II

Forgive me Tim Horton, for I have sinned. What did you do, my son? I was taking a walk with my family at our local zoo.  We were admiring the yaks.  It is then when I first noticed that strange … Continue reading

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So You Want To Be A Rock Star? Buy A Djembe

Rock stars have all the fun.  Rock stars get all the girls.  Rock stars get paid to play rock, take drugs, and get laid. If only I could be a rock star.  But to be honest, I wouldn’t be able … Continue reading

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Metaphorically Speaking

DRAGONE has been humbled.  I, the self-professed expert at everything, have realized that I know shit about metaphors.  You see, I was mocking someone today (surprise, surprise!)  What was surprising was that I was mocking them in person, right in … Continue reading

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It’s Groundhog Day, Again

Sorry my DRAGONE-ian readers, but I have let you down.  I missed Groundhog Day.  It came and went, and I ignored it.  I don’t even know my local groundhog’s name.  But then again, I don’t know the names of my … Continue reading

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Why Don’t The Oscars Play The Ambiguous Race Card?

Since we’re keeping score of the races at the Oscars, instead of the track I suppose, what do you do when you can’t tell who “won” the race?  Is that a Red, White, or Black card you’ve got there?  Oh, … Continue reading

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Democracy Rules! John Scott Wins Iowa Republican Caucus as Write-In Candidate

Breaking News from DRAGONE Files: Last night John Scott, one of the NHL’s last goons, won the MVP in the NHL’s All-Star game in Nashville.  He was a write-in candidate for the MVP, which is how he made it to … Continue reading

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