Well it seems like in yesterday’s post not only did I misspell St. Paddy’s, thereby possibly offending some Irish people, but I also posted my wishes one day early. So here we go again, and I think I got it right this time around! I truly have no fear of insulting the Irish since they are truly the people with the greatest sense of humour in the world. I’ve traveled throughout Ireland, met some great Irish people, and learned to appreciate what a nutritious and filling meal a few pints of Guinness is. The cream on top is of course an absolute necessity when pouring the perfect pint.
Now back to St. Paddy’s Day. I have to admit the symbols do confuse me. Green leprechauns, well green everything, and four leaf clovers. It’s just as confusing as the country of Ireland itself. Which part of it is actually Ireland, which part is Great Britain, and which part is the United Kingdom? And while we’re at it, which countries do Wales and Scotland belong to? It’s so confusing. I’ll have to phone up Sean Connery to straighten me out on these things.
Now, as I was saying, better early than late. So Happy St. Patrick’s Day yesterday and today, and what the hell let’s make it a whole week party, ok? Better early than late is my motto, except of course in the bedroom. Because DRAGONE never, ever, ever, never is early in the bedroom. Sometimes late, sometimes by a day or more, but never early. So quiet down all you rumours unfolding.
Now this got me thinking. What are some things that are better early, and what are some that are better late?
- A date – EARLY. Make sure you get there plenty early so you can stake out a hiding spot and observe how your date responds to stress. This is very important information to find out, especially if you are thinking that he/she could be the one.
- Dentist – LATE. If your dentist is good then he/she will be busy and your appointment will be rushed, thereby limiting the amount of torture you need to withstand.
- Work – LATE. Especially when you are first hired. Set the tone right away and see how your boss responds to your disgruntled and lazy attitude that will inevitably become a reality eventually. It may help to bring some coffee and donuts as an acceptable excuse.
- A party – EARLY. Get there just as snacks are being put out to score the best ones, and more importantly, get them before other grubby and germy hands have been all over the best snacks. Also, your host is not yet preoccupied and can promptly serve you the drink of your choice.
- Your graduatation – LATE. This will be the most boring 4 hours of your life. You will sweat to death in your gown and the organizers purposely tell you to get there an hour early. They are actually counting on you to get there late, so do not disappoint.
Oh yeah, this was supposed to be a St. Paddy’s Day blog. Sorry about that.
And by the way, this is what Lou Ferrigno looks like today. I think I can take him!