I hope that you are all set, ready to turn off your lights, turn off your TV, turn off your computer. Shut down your furnace, close your blinds, and stop talking. Earth Hour is upon us.
I, personally, like to go one step further than the average environmentalist. Since we are all part of the Earth, each and every one of us being made up of atoms that have come from the Earth, I believe that our bodies should also conserve as much energy as possible during Earth Hour.
In this spirit, I have filled my bathtub full of ice and am planning to submerge myself neck deep into the ice bath for the full hour. My breathing will slow. My core temperature will fall. My heart rate will plummet. And if I were to try to call for help, which I won’t since it uses unnecessary energy, my speech will be slurred.
Earth Hour is DRAGONE Hour, for we are all made from stardust.
Of course, this is a risky and dangerous undertaking, not to be attempted by any mere amateur. During the full hour I will be hooked up to a complete assortment of electrical equipment and monitors that will be constantly assessing my vital signs. Should my heart rate or core temperature fall beyond dangerous levels, where my life is in danger, I have rigged my equipment to jolt me with underwater electrical shocks to prevent me from accidentally committing suicide.
If you never hear from me again, I would like to thank you all for reading my blog and taking everything that I have written with the seriousness that it deserves.