Today’s terror attacks in Brussels triggered me. I don’t know why, because usually I’m not triggered by world events. Usually I’m triggered by personal events, though I have been triggered all week personally so I guess I’m on edge.
I can’t stand how some fucked up arrogant and selfish assholes can justify ruining the lives of so many people. I can’t stand how immensely angry and sad the victims’ loved ones must feel right now. I can’t stand how a few assholes half way around the world from me can wield such power as to make me feel the way I do.
I go through periods of sadness and frustration on a regular basis. Lots of people do. No one needs more misery in their lives. It cannot possibly result in anything good.
I suspect that most people who are sad and frustrated on a regular basis are this way not because of world events, but because of personal events and circumstances. Yes, I know there are people who can’t stand the politicians in their country, the violence in the world, the destruction of our environment, the poverty in the streets, and so on. Though I suspect that many of these people are also upset because of their own personal lives, or what happened in their lives years ago.
I think that the suffering of most people is due to their own personal lives. Maybe they’re stuck in miserable relationships. Maybe they’ve realized that their dreams will never be fulfilled. Maybe they can’t stand taking shit from their supervisor at work, and having to go back day after day because they need the money. Maybe they can’t stand taking shit from their spouse, or for younger people taking shit from their parents. And there’s no way out. Or so it seems.
When I was young I used to revel in sadness. Maybe I was just a spoiled little bitch with first-world problems, but I romanticized the tortured artist stereotype and wished that I could pull it off. I became drawn to indie films (before they became kind of a mainstream thing) because I could relate to the miserable and fucked up characters. There were no Hollywood happy endings, and balling my eyes out felt good.
But somewhere along the line I changed. I now can’t stand to watch anything sad, or anything serious for that matter. All I want is comedy. All I want to do is laugh. I’ve felt enough sadness.
When I write as DRAGONE I laugh as I write. The people around me may not find any humour in what I write, but that is in part why I write. At least I can laugh at the ridiculous thoughts that come into my head, and maybe there are a few of you out there who can too.
Sorry for the depressing post, I promise I will stick to humour (or my attempt at humour) from here on in. Maybe a serious post once a year or so is all I am capable of, or all I want.
Fuck you terrorists in Brussels for making me feel this way. Fuck you for devastating lives.