Bruce Springsteen is awesome. Bruce Springsteen is THE BOSS.
Here is the note he wrote to the teacher of a young fan that was out late at one of his concerts:
“Dear Ms. Jackson, Xabi has been out very late rocking & rolling. Please excuse him if he is tardy.”
Bruce man, Bossman, I didn’t know you wrote notes for your fans. I think your music is awesome, I listen to it all the time, and I could sure use some of your celebrity penmanship to ease the pain of a few awkward moments. Here are some examples of notes that you could have written for me lately:
“Dear Mr. Dipshit supervisor, DRAGONE has been out very late at a bar drinking & drugging while listening to my music. Please excuse him if he is tardy for work in the morning. He will be very hungover and fucking the dog all day.” — THE BOSS
“Dear Mrs. Pennyloafer, DRAGONE was playing some air guitar while my music was blasting in the background as he was cutting the grass. He did not notice your flower bed until after he ran it over with his lawn mower. Please accept a few token flowers that he picked from your flower bed last week as his version of a heartfelt apology.” — THE BOSS
“Dear random Asian man in the beige Honda Civic, perhaps my loud music coming from the car next to you could have warned you that the driver was not fully attentive. DRAGONE regrets the pain and trauma that you and your family suffered, and will suffer for years to come, from the near deadly collision that ensued.” —THE BOSS
“Dear Mrs. DRAGONE, your husband was buying some groceries for you when my song Born To Run came through his ear jack. He impulsively ran to his car and drove for half an hour as fast as he could, due South. At some point he realized the song had ended and so he turned around and came back home. Please excuse him for being tardy. He’s sorry.” — THE BOSS