I’m still upset about David Letterman morphing into a homeless man. I feel like we’ve lost him. And so, to carry on my tribute to him, here is a TOP TEN list. I know that in my last post I said blogger lists are so clichés. Well, so be it!
Top Ten Philosophies To Live/Love By
- Love like you’ll never be hurt.
- Dance like nobody’s watching.
- Make love like somebody’s watching.
- Watch your best friend make love to her boyfriend using a hidden cam, like the one he used that time when you had to go to the bathroom at his house.
- When you get caught lie about it like nobody’s business.
- If your boyfriend wants to make a sex tape with you, judge him like you judged that slut Angelina Jolie for stealing Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston (yes that was 12 years ago, but you still hate that slut).
- If you really want something, cry like you’ll never want to have sex again.
- Gorge yourself with Easter chocolate and red wine like there’s no tomorrow.
- Hate yourself tomorrow like there was no today.
- Eat perogies. They’ve never hurt anyone.