Monthly Archives: April 2016

CRACK

Hello.  My name is DRAGONE.  And I’m a compulsive cracker. Since the age of 6 I’ve been cracking every part of my body that cracks.  My parents used to warn me that I would get arthritis when I’m old.  Like … Continue reading

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It’s NOT My Donut Butt Cushion

I’m sitting on a cushion with a hole in the middle.  It’s purposely made that way.  You see, I finished the afternoon with a high protein chocolate peanut butter bar.  This was followed by two hours of playing soccer with … Continue reading

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Loving the Random

Focusing on one thing and doing it well is so old fashioned.  It’s like the art of handwriting.  I can respect nice hand writing, but let’s be real here.  It’s just not a necessary skill anymore.  Same with cooking, ironing, … Continue reading

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Another Music Tragedy: Justin Bieber Found In His Hotel Room, Alive

Justin Bieber, for so many, many reasons, you are such a DOUCHE.

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The Tragedy of Mr. Gru: His Heartwarming Story Eclipsed by Pesky Little Minions

It’s like my Grandma always said.  Old people are just like little babies.  Except that everyone loves babies.  My poor Grandma. Poor Mr. Gru.  A veteran bad guy who spent years toiling in the supervillain minor leagues, scheming of grandiose … Continue reading

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My Prince Secret

I grew up listening to heavy metal, with AC/DC as the standard.  There were brief moments of awesomeness from Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and the odd Van Halen song.  But AC/DC delivered, song after song, album after album.  Of course, … Continue reading

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Mr. Fancypants

Today, DRAGONE shall be known as Mr. Fancypants.  That is because he is wearing fancy pants.  He is also wearing a fancy shirt with a fancy tie, and a fancy suit jacket.  These latter items are irritating DRAGONE, errrrr … … Continue reading

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I Have No Idea

I have no idea what I’m doing half the time.  Other times I know I’m doing it wrong, but maybe somehow it will still work out.  I can’t remember most of the things I say, and I don’t even say … Continue reading

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Sitting Naked On My Writer’s Block

There’s my writer’s block.  A block of ice.  I can try to chisel some shit piece of art out of it, but I’m not an artist so that won’t turn out well.  I can take a blow torch to it, … Continue reading

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Celebrities I’ve Stared Down

DRAGONE knows how to stare.  Or maybe, DRAGONE knows how to fake a stare. What is a fake stare you ask?  It’s when you’re confused and have no idea how to react to a situation, so you just stand there.  … Continue reading

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