Food and Coffee Rant

Mrs. DRAGONE and I fight about food and coffee.  It’s cloaked as a fight about health.  It’s really a fight about the planet.

She believes in a vegetable based diet.  Because she claims it’s healthy, but more importantly because it saves the planet.  Raising animals for food is bad for the planet.  It’s also bad for the animals.  But even more important than all of that, we must support our local farmers and buy local vegetables.

mushroom-portobello-saladHer favourite dishes all begin with a vegetable, such as portabella mushrooms.  I’m confused.  If you ask me what my favourite dishes are, none of them begin with a vegetable.  Vegetables are equivalent to condiments, added for diversity and for visual appearance.  Well fine, I eat some vegetables, I know I have to.  But a dish based on vegetables?  It’s not healthy for my Slovak stomach – it gives me the runs.  I need meat.

I can’t stand cleaning up all the little vegetable bits on our kitchen counter, the inside of the electric mixer, and damn they get stuck on the blades of all our knives which are downright dangerous to scrub with the force that is required to clean them.

farting yogi

Oh yeah, and I hate beans.  They really do make me fart.  More than the red meat.  Just so you know.

I know all of our local farmer’s markets.  I love our local farmer’s markets.  It’s a nice way to get out, meet a few people, and they even sell coffee which I am addicted to in the mornings.  Oh yeah, about that coffee.

Tim Horton'sI only drink Tim Horton’s coffee (it’s a Canadian thing).  I tried drinking Mrs. DRAGONE’s coffee yesterday, the organic free trade coffee that sits on our kitchen counter.  She even brought me home some Tim Horton’s cream containers (in a Tim Horton’s cup) to use with the organic free trade coffee.  I tried it, and I still got a caffeine headache.

Why you ask?  Mrs. DRAGONE says that Tim Horton’s puts a secret additive into their coffee (other than caffeine) which is addictive.  Well if it’s true, it works for me.  I had Timmy’s today and no caffeine headache.

I really do wish that all those coffee bean pickers in other parts of the world got paid more.  I wish that they didn’t have to get sick, injured, or die while picking coffee beans for my coffee.  I really don’t know what I’m talking about here, but I get the gist of it that the working conditions are not ideal.

Sorry Mrs. DRAGONE.  I love you, and I believe in all of your causes.  I’m just too selfish to give up my favourite things in life.

The Earth will go down in flames while my belly purrs like a kitten.  But not today,  because it’s supposed to snow.

And in related news, DRAGONE Junior got an A+ on his rant assignment for English.  He’s not normally a good writer, but I guess he’s a passionate ranter.  A chip off the old block.

DRAGONE out.

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5 Responses to Food and Coffee Rant

  1. I feel the same way as your wife about meat and food production and all. But I’m half Slovak and half Sicilian. I absolutely must have meat. Meatballs. The food of the Gods. Good, grass fed small production red meat is a healthy option. A cow still dies but better a dead happy cow than a dead miserable cow.
    You know you’re cray cray. It’s a Slovak thing. My Dad was the Slovak half of my genetics, and he ate head cheese and hoodka and pigs feet. I hope you don’t eat that crap. I’m more inclined towards the Sicilian side. Cray cray too but with a much more sophisticated palate.
    Happy eating!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. DRAGONE says:

    Thanks! I don’t know what cray cray is, but I’m sure it’s delicious. I grew up here, so I don’t eat hoodka, which I also don’t know what it is. Or pigs feet. I know what those are. Spaghetti with meat balls is my favourite dish. Happy eating yourself!

    Like

  3. cracTpot says:

    Ooohhhh, I think I like Mrs Dragone. When are you going to let her write a guest blog 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  4. DRAGONE says:

    ha ha she’ll have to drug me with organic mushrooms and steal the laptop.

    Like

  5. Janice says:

    Sometimes we try different coffee companies due to good offers, but for me whenever I changed coffee company, it gave me some uneasiness, yeah kind of headache, I am a graphic designer and can’t live without coffee. I drink coffee to get going, so I decided to stay with my Folgers coffee, will not try other, even it comes free haha. I also heard that companies add something addictive in their products but I think, that’s just our body nature to accept particular things. Check my coffee pages too frenchpress list.

    Liked by 1 person

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