It’s like my Grandma always said. Old people are just like little babies. Except that everyone loves babies. My poor Grandma.
Poor Mr. Gru. A veteran bad guy who spent years toiling in the supervillain minor leagues, scheming of grandiose evil plans that might, just might, get him noticed. And then finally, despite his overbearing and soul sucking mother, or perhaps fueled by his overbearing and soul sucking mother, he was struck with a bolt of genius. THE MOON!
Yet this was not his ultimate success. Yes, Mr. Gru stole The Moon, slapped that little bitch Vector around, and won the admiration of supervillains across the universe. But Mr. Gru’s truly heroic defining moment came when he was willing to give up his lifelong passion of supervillain stunts for the love of a little orphan girl.
Mr. Gru became overcome with unselfish love, his entire life transformed from evil to good. Mr. Gru should be the hero that everyone loves, right?
Well, apparently not. Because what everyone loves are those pesky little Minions. Those one-dimensional, snickering, carbon copy Minions. And why is that you ask? Very simple. It’s because Mr. Gru is old, and the Minions are little babies. And everyone loves cute little babies.
What did the Minions do to deserve all of the accolades that they have received, not to mention lucrative movie sequels? Nothing! They can’t even speak! One little Minion photocopies his but and all the other Minions think it’s hilarious. Millions of Minions, and only one in a million can come up with a semi-creative idea. A very, very small idea for a very, very small Minion. But photocopying. Pffff. That’s an OLD idea. What? Did I say OLD?
I’ll never understand it. Mr. Gru, just so you know, you have one big fan over here. DRAGONE will carry your torch wherever he goes. You even talk with the very same accent that DRAGONE instinctively imitates. My heart is heavy.