Yeah, sure, bald can be Ewww. Like a creepy old bald guy in a red convertible giving you the ol’ wink. But is that really the bald that’s Ewww, or is it the guy?
DRAGONE is here to tell you that not only is it ok to be bald, but it’s downright desirable. Because I’m not just a faceless blogger, I’m also a hairless blogger. That’s right, I’m bald and I’m proud. I’m not exactly bald as a cue tip, but bald enough to lather sunscreen over my scalp on a sunny day. Oh wait a sec, now I’m treading over that imaginary sexy/ewww line.
Bald is beautiful. Bald is sexy. Bald is what every man should want to be. Not the fake bald that requires weekly maintenance with a razor blade. I’m talkin’ about bald au naturale.
I read somewhere at sometime that bald men have more testosterone surging through their veins. And because I like what I read, I remembered it.
Ah, good ol’ testosterone. Testosterone that grows hair everywhere else on your body in copious amounts. Testosterone that comes from the testes. Testosterone that turns a man into a bull. It’s what makes a man more manly (wink wink Ilona).
Every woman knows that a bald man has a searing flame inside of him that can roast marshmallows on a cool spring evening, then set the bed on fire when the kids go to sleep. I once set my kitchen on fire by melting a plastic spatula on a stove top that I forgot to turn off. But I’m a manly man, and so I shouldn’t have been allowed to cook in the kitchen in the first place. Like, duh!
Kojak was a manly man. Kojak was a cop who caught bad guys. Kojak was bald. Kojak sucked on a lollipop. This may not have been the most manly thing to do, but then again Kojak didn’t have the Internet to show him how lewd that act can truly be.
Kojak is a funny name. I like my name better.