Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

heart-brokenRejection.  What an ugly word.  We’ve all been there.  We’ve all had to go through the pain.  The trauma.  The tears.

Yes, I am talking about the hurt that goes with having to reject someone.  Being rejected is easy in comparison.  Heck, most of the time it’s a relief.  But the trauma of having to break someone’s heart is gut wrenching.

I think that women suffer more than men with this.  How do you break it to the unsuspecting guy?

Well, to help you out a little, DRAGONE here has compiled a few tidbits of advice.  Actually, not really advice, more like anecdotal and fragmented memories from years gone by of women breaking up with me.  That is, if you consider rejection after a first date “breaking up”.  I certainly did.

If you’re looking for some semblance of guidance in this list, or some how-to-do-this-messy-shit instruction manual, then you’re out of luck.  What you will find here instead are some personal examples, along with my post-mortem thoughts on the matter.  It is my hope that this will help somebody.  Somewhere.  Sometime.

  1. Her break-up line: “I’m really flattered that you find me so attractive, but if only you could value something other than my physical appearance. That’s really important to me.”  My thoughts: Ok, so what I believe is missing here is an understanding of the basic nature of men.  Men are visual creatures.  I tried to be honest with her when explaining this.
  2. Her break-up line: “You’re a really nice guy.  But I prefer a man who is taller than me.  And who has hair.  On his head.”  My thoughts:  See now this I understand.  It took me a month of sobbing uncontrollably and dousing my head with ancient Chinese ointments that I ordered online before I could eat solid food again.  But fair is fair.
  3. Her break-up line: “So, what’s your five year plan?”  My thoughts:  In retrospect, perhaps this was not intended to be a break-up line.  We were on a first date, and she was just thinking of questions to ask me.  I met her question with 45 seconds of awkward silence before slowly standing out of my seat, pretending to stretch, and then bolting out of there as fast as I could.
  4. Her break-up line: So, what did you say you do for a living?” My thoughts:  See item # 3 above.
  5. Her break-up line:You don’t look anything like the picture you sent me.”  My thoughts:  I’m not sure if I could technically call this a break-up, since this one sentence was the only face to face interaction that we had.  We did exchange some rather provocative emails, however.
  6. Her break-up line: “Sex with you has been really nice.  But I think you would be a better fit with someone more petite.”  My thoughts:  I don’t understand what she was trying to say here.  She was by no means overweight, so I don’t know why she was so hard on herself.
  7. Her break-up line: “That is the weirdest fucked up shit I have ever encountered in my entire life.”  My thoughts:  Obviously, this so-called worldly woman does not get around much.
  8. Her break-up line: “Please don’t talk like that.  Your imitations are really not that good.”  My thoughts:  Well excuse me for trying to be funny.  My bad.

Good luck to all of you out there.  It’s a tough world we live in.

DRAGONE out.

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5 Responses to Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

  1. Pingback: Featured Bloggers 6/23/16: How to Network Your Blog | Dream Big, Dream Often

  2. #6 and #7 had me laughing out loud! Truly, sometimes one never knows the true reasoning behind the excuse…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ha ha ha what a funny post and I thought I was clueless with men…The way I got the guy to order the bill immediately on a first date not intentionally of course was to say that instead of bridesmaids I wanted sheep at my wedding as Jesus was the lamb of God…

    Liked by 1 person

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