Feelings

Back when I was a simple man (circa last week) I understood only 2 feelings:  Good and Bad.  So, according to probability theory, this meant that I was in a good state of mind 50% of the time.

Recently, however, it has been expressed to my old simple self that Good and Bad are very vague and simplistic concepts.  So now I have a new language to use for feelings.  There’s Happy.  And then there’s Sad.  But wait, there’s more.  Lurking in the trenches is an emotion called Mad, which also goes by the name of Angry.  Mind blown.

Now you may think this is good news.  An expansion of the heart and mind of DRAGONE.  Well, unfortunately, probability theory says otherwise.  The way I see it:  Happy = Good, Sad = Bad, Mad also = Bad.  Therefore, I now only have a 33.33% probability of feeling good.  (Note that this is not an exact number but has been rounded for the sake of brevity).

So when a so-called feelings expert (such as your therapist, or your significant other who tends to be female in gender) tries to convince you that there are many more feelings, in fact entire poster sized charts of many more feelings, you just tell them to stop it right there.  Is Hungry on that feelings poster?  What about Tired?  Or Itchy?  Or Sexy?  No, they’re not.

In fact, all of the so-called feelings that are recognized by feelings experts can be essentially boiled down to the 3 aforementioned.  Feeling jealous?  That sounds like a form of Madness to me.  What about proud?  Well that’s just a form of Happiness.  See what I mean?

I’m thinking of going back to Good and Bad.  I like my chances better that way.

DRAGONE out.

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About DRAGONE

DRAGONE critiques news, entertainment, sports, fashion, and love. He also has ADD, but that is irrelevant.
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